


hope

by maleclipse



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Communication, Episode: s03e19 Aku Cinta Kamu, Family Feels, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maleclipse/pseuds/maleclipse
Summary: “You're good with her,” Magnus said without thinking, “you'll be a great dad.”(or, magnus and alec talk about having a family. 3x19, ice cream flashback.)





	hope

“You've been awfully quiet after our conversation today,” Alec's voice said. His arms wrapped around him from behind and Magnus relaxed against his chest.

Magnus turned his head slightly to give him a smile, but it was forced. Alec planted a kiss on Magnus’ cheek and circled around the couch to sit next to him.

Taking Alec's hand in his, Magnus let out a shaky breath.

“I'm sorry,” Alec said. It sounded like an automatic response, but Magnus knew better. Alec really was sorry, even when he had no reason for it.

“Don’t be,” Magnus answered. “Is Madzie sleeping?”

Alec nodded. “I had to stay until she fell asleep.”

“You're good with her,” Magnus said without thinking, “you'll be a great dad.”

Alec froze, just for a while, before he broke into a smile and squeezed Magnus’ hand. “You, too. I really meant it before.”

Magnus nodded and then climbed over to bury himself in Alec's arms.

“I lied when I said I haven't thought about it,” Magnus whispered. He laid his head on Alec's shoulder. “There was a time I wanted to be a father, more than anything. ”

Alec wrapped his hands tightly around Magnus, but didn't say anything.

“Then, I lost hope. I - I closed myself off and lost hope on love, on everything I believed before,” Magnus told, quietly. Alec knew this already, but saying it again helped Magnus to talk. “And then I met you.”

“After meeting you, I let myself hope again,” Magnus said softly, “I believed again. And I've started to think about having a family again, and I want that.”

Alec was about so say something, but Magnus shushed him with his finger. “Don't talk. If you do, I can't finish.”

“Okay,” Alec whispered.

“You deserve a family, Alexander, more than anyone,” Magnus said, smiling, “but I don't think I would be the right person to have a family with. That's why I've been quiet.”

“Why not?” Alec asked quietly.

 _I'm immortal,_ Magnus wanted to say, _my father is a prince of hell._ But Alec didn't care about that and what Magnus said instead, was, “I'm scared, Alexander.”

It was the truth and it was horrifying.

“You talk about it so easily,” Magnus told him, “you have faith. But I don't - I don't think I'd be a good father. I want it, but I don't think I could.”

Alec's grip on him tightened. His voice was sweet and soft when he asked, “is that all?”

“Yeah,” Magnus breathed out, “I think that's all.”

Alec chuckled quietly.

“First of all,” he started, “it's not like we're going to start a family _right now._ ”

Magnus nodded.

“And like I said,” Alec said, “you wouldn't be doing it alone. And just like me, you deserve a family, if that's something you want.”

“You'll be the best father,” Alec mumbled against Magnus’ cheek, “ _the best._ ”

“You really think that?” Magnus asked quietly. 

“Yes, of course I do,” Alec answered.

It got quiet after that. Magnus turned slightly, so he could face Alec better. The smile on Alec's face made Magnus’ heart flutter - it was fond, adoring, _loving._

Magnus was about to press a kiss on Alec's lips, but he missed and planted one on Alec's chin instead. Both of them chuckled, before Alec bend down to catch Magnus’ lips with his own.

Kisses like that one were Magnus’ favourites. It was slow and lazy, there was no rush and the world seemed to stop around them. Both of them were smiling, what made the actual kissing hard and sometimes it was just giggling in each other's mouth.

“I really want a family with you,” Alec whispered against Magnus’ lips, “some day.”

Magnus hummed. “Me, too.”

“And when I say _with you_ ,” Alec pecked his lips, “I mean, I wouldn't want it with anybody else.”

Magnus catched Alec's eyes with his own. There were only truthfulness in them.

“Some day,” Magnus whispered, “you deserve it.”

“ _We_ deserve it,” Alec corrected.

“Yeah,” Magnus agreed, trying to wrap his head around it, “ _we._ ”

 _Fuck being scared,_ Magnus decided,  _we deserve it._

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments make my day!! you can also find me on [tumblr](https://eclipseben.tumblr.com/).


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